life

 Life is so damn short. 

i feel like im reminded of this a lot but lately its just been in my face. between V and her struggle but today with a dear friend of mines service. so much love was felt for her & out of nowhere it hits me that shes gone and she left behind her son and husband. i try my best not to question why things happen, not my business but sometimes things make you wonder, just why? but today reminded me that we are only given 1 precious, short, delicate life that we all take for granted and i cant live like that anymore.

i no longer want to live my life for others. worried about people will think or whos feelings im going to hurt with my decisions. dont get me wrong , i never hurt someone intentionally, however if me living my best life the way i see fit hurts anyones feelings, thats on them for them to work through, not my business.

i have this urge, need to truly resist from letting outside penetrate my peace. i love heling people. making people feel seen, heard and cared for and i know that comes from my need of needing all those things as a child. from not getting those things as an adult in my marriages and i hated that feeling so i strive to not let people that are in my orbit ever feel that way. i truly believe people come into our lives for a reason, a season and we always get a lesson. but during that time someone is in my life, i want them to know i.see.u! do you know how many people dont feel seen? its a lonely feeling.